Aging, Religion, and Politics
I am officially in Middle Age.
What's strange is that 40 doesn't seem all that different from my 30s. Oh, sure, I've lost a lot of my flexibility. And gained a few inches around my mid-section. And this isolated patch of solid grey showed up on the side of my head over night. Oh, and I usually have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom now. Never had to do that before.
Come to think of it, 40 is a LOT different than my 30s.
I'm not saying it's all bad. The life experience that I've racked up to this point (i.e., the really really stupid things I've done that I have hopefully learned from) has put me in a place of relative peace and contentment that, quite honestly, I never believed possible when I was half this age. There is definitely something to be said for getting the ignorance and stupidity of youth behind one in order to really begin enjoying what you have in life, as opposed to grousing about what you imagine you lack.
You know what else has put me in this really healthy place? God. Believe me, no one was more surprised than I was to find out that, not only did I believe in God, I desperately needed Him to straighten out the mess I'd made of my life.
See, for most of my years, I sort of considered myself an armchair intellectual. I never went to college, but I'd feel pretty confident in making a friendly wager with any of my friends or family who did attend university that I have, in my life, read at least twice as many books as they have. (No, I've never read texts on advanced calculus, or quantum physics, or cluster statistics. Those books aren't for reading; they're for making your head explode.) I've studied or perused most of the giant European, Greek, and Asian philosophers. U.S. and World history. Hundreds of novels, short stories, and books of poetry. I am so up on current events that my wife doesn't watch the news anymore. She just asks me what's going on.
It's not that I never believed in God. I simply didn't think about Him. How could I? I was too busy making myself feel superior to so many of my friends who didn't read, didn't educate themselves, didn't stay informed. Besides, how could I possibly believe in God AND be a supporter of National Public Radio?
Like many folks (I suspect), my relationship to God was that of a wayward teenager to a father: I never really gave Him a lot of thought, until I needed Him to post my bail. Then I thought about Him a lot. Here's a snapshot of my inner monolgue when my life finally came apart and I was thinking about God:
"Oh, man, I am so screwed." "How come He waited for all THIS crap to happen?" "Okay, so I'll say I'm sorry, ask for forgiveness, blah blah blah..." "There's no way He'll forgive me for this." "Oh please oh please oh please oh please just fix this for me, okay?"
See? I really was like a randy teen, hoping beyond hope that Dad would roll out of bed at 3AM to come get me out of the slam.
I didn't really understand my relationship with God until I became a parent. And in the second between my daughter coming out into the world and being placed in my arms, I understood my relationship with God absolutely. I get it now. Which is both enlightening and terrifying - since I know what kind of kid I've been to my Father. Oy.
I know this post was titled Aging, Religion and Politics, but I've got a house to pick up. Family is coming in from out of town, and even family should not be subjected to my dirt...
LB
What's strange is that 40 doesn't seem all that different from my 30s. Oh, sure, I've lost a lot of my flexibility. And gained a few inches around my mid-section. And this isolated patch of solid grey showed up on the side of my head over night. Oh, and I usually have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom now. Never had to do that before.
Come to think of it, 40 is a LOT different than my 30s.
I'm not saying it's all bad. The life experience that I've racked up to this point (i.e., the really really stupid things I've done that I have hopefully learned from) has put me in a place of relative peace and contentment that, quite honestly, I never believed possible when I was half this age. There is definitely something to be said for getting the ignorance and stupidity of youth behind one in order to really begin enjoying what you have in life, as opposed to grousing about what you imagine you lack.
You know what else has put me in this really healthy place? God. Believe me, no one was more surprised than I was to find out that, not only did I believe in God, I desperately needed Him to straighten out the mess I'd made of my life.
See, for most of my years, I sort of considered myself an armchair intellectual. I never went to college, but I'd feel pretty confident in making a friendly wager with any of my friends or family who did attend university that I have, in my life, read at least twice as many books as they have. (No, I've never read texts on advanced calculus, or quantum physics, or cluster statistics. Those books aren't for reading; they're for making your head explode.) I've studied or perused most of the giant European, Greek, and Asian philosophers. U.S. and World history. Hundreds of novels, short stories, and books of poetry. I am so up on current events that my wife doesn't watch the news anymore. She just asks me what's going on.
It's not that I never believed in God. I simply didn't think about Him. How could I? I was too busy making myself feel superior to so many of my friends who didn't read, didn't educate themselves, didn't stay informed. Besides, how could I possibly believe in God AND be a supporter of National Public Radio?
Like many folks (I suspect), my relationship to God was that of a wayward teenager to a father: I never really gave Him a lot of thought, until I needed Him to post my bail. Then I thought about Him a lot. Here's a snapshot of my inner monolgue when my life finally came apart and I was thinking about God:
"Oh, man, I am so screwed." "How come He waited for all THIS crap to happen?" "Okay, so I'll say I'm sorry, ask for forgiveness, blah blah blah..." "There's no way He'll forgive me for this." "Oh please oh please oh please oh please just fix this for me, okay?"
See? I really was like a randy teen, hoping beyond hope that Dad would roll out of bed at 3AM to come get me out of the slam.
I didn't really understand my relationship with God until I became a parent. And in the second between my daughter coming out into the world and being placed in my arms, I understood my relationship with God absolutely. I get it now. Which is both enlightening and terrifying - since I know what kind of kid I've been to my Father. Oy.
I know this post was titled Aging, Religion and Politics, but I've got a house to pick up. Family is coming in from out of town, and even family should not be subjected to my dirt...
LB
posted by Larry B | 9:46 PM
1 Comments:
Yep, totally agree with you on this post - on the aging thing and the God thing. Well said.
Post a Comment
<< Home